Weaving my way through motherhood whilst trying not to mess up adulthood. An observational lifetstyle and parenting blog

Wednesday, 24 June 2015

A parent's guilt



I graduated from university and was thrust into the after haze of what now? I really had no idea what I was going to do and what path I should be taking. On one hand, I enjoyed being at home with little one, as she transitioned from nursery through to year one but then on the other, I longed to be at work, earning a living and creating a better future for my family.

I began full time work when my daughter turned five and I've been enjoying my role, making new friends and gaining lifelong skills, so why after wanting so badly to be in full time employment do I and so many other working parents feel such guilt?

The guilt of missing out

I went from being able to attend every assembly, sports day, Christmas play and bake sale with my only worry being that I had enough 20p coins to buy a cupcake and a coffee. Now, I have to hope that I have that day off, or I'm lucky enough to get the dates to events in advance to book it off. If not, I wave Lei off with kisses and promises of being good and having a great time, while I have a little talk to myself that she's going to be fine and fine she always is! She often can't wait to tell me about her day and show me the crafts she made and cakes she brought.

Tip:  If your child is at an afterschool club, nursery or childminder and is able to relay the day's
activity to you, then listen and ask questions, perhaps make it into a games where 
the child can create a picture story to recall the day’s events.  If the child is younger, buying a special
book to give to your childminder or nursery to recall key events important to you such as what they ate at meal times or what activity they did that day can help you feel  in the loop whilst at work.

The guilt of growing up

I feel that with every blink I take, my baby has gone from baby to toddler to child with an incredible imagination and knack to create stories with ease whilst able to teach me how to log on to her maths and phonics games and challenge me to beat her highest score on a bananas in pyjamas game. Gone are the ill pronounced words and instead a child who understands the value of  perseverance and determination.

Tip: Keep a picture or written diary of the funny or serious anecdotes your child says.
This can be a sweet memento read on your lunch break or after a particularly tiring day

The guilt of quality time

A day off with Lei is often spent having ' mummy, baby' days as we call it, where we will either venture out or have a movie day at home. Those times are the best and we both enjoy them, although sometimes after finishing my second long shift in a row, I want to crawl under my duvet and sleep into the next year. Of course that can't be done, so instead I get on with the day and go to bed at bedtime....7:00pm!

Tip: This is a time to do whatever you and your child enjoy, a time to shake off any feeling of guilt
and just have fun.  


I stand with the millions of mothers and fathers who have to juggle employment whilst fretting about childcare, school runs and the friday night grocery shop. 
  • We are the parents booking doctors’ appointments on our lunch break and cancelling playdates.
  • We are the parents who wake up at 5 am and go to sleep at 1 am ensuring that book bags are packed, lunch boxes filled and uniforms ironed- preparation is key when doing the childcare to work route in the mornings.
  • We are the parents who do it all for our children.

How do you juggle family life whilst working?

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